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There Goes The Neighborhood Musical – Act One

August 14, 2014

WARNING – STRONG LANGUAGE AND SUBJECT MATTER

ACT ONE – SCENE ONE

SETTING: OPENS IN ROACH INFESTED STUDIO APARTMENT DOWNTOWN GARY, INDIANA WITH A KITCHEN TABLE SET UP WITH A CANDLE, SPOON, MATCHES AND SYRINGE IN PREPARATION OF COOKING HEROIN.

AT RISE: JOHNNY IS SITTING AT TABLE WITH RUBBER TUBE WRAPPED AROUND HIS ARM SHOOTING HEROIN. JOHNNY BEGINS TO READ EXCERPT FROM PLAY HE IS WRITING TO THE OPENING SONG WITH A RASPY VOICE OF TOO MANY CIGARETTES AND TOO MUCH ON HIS MIND.

JOHNNY: (CIGARETTE IN MOUTH) THE NEON LIGHT OF THE STATE TAP BAR AND GRILLE FLICKERED ON AND OFF AS QUICK AS THE LIVES DEPENDENT ON LOW LIGHT AND A SOFT CHAIR. TEMPORARY HOME FOR THE SO MANY THAT BUILT THIS CITY ON A SHOT AND A BEER AND THE DREAMS OF THE PROMISED LAND. THEY QUENCHED THEIR THIRST FOR LIFE OVER A TALL CANADIAN MIST AND STORIES OF THEIR PASSAGE TO THE LAND OF PLENTY. PROUD AND BOLD, THEY WALKED THE STREETS AS THE SMOKE STACKS BILLOWED THEIR LABOR INTO DARKENED SKIES ABOVE. A HARD DAYS WORK WAS A HARD DAYS PAY, SPENT ON CHEAP WHISKEY, EXPENSIVE WHORES AND THE SOUNDS OF POCKETS THAT WENT TOO DEEP. THE GAMBLERS AND THE HUSTLERS THREW DOWN THEIR WARES AND ROBBED THE COMMON MAN OF HIS GUILT FOR LEAVING HIS HOMELAND BEHIND. ONE WEEKS PAY, WAS THREE MONTHS WAGES IN A LAND THAT STIFF BOOZE HELPED FORGET. THE BOILING POT OF FLESH AND SOUL SPLATTERED THEIR LOINS ACROSS THIS CITY FASTER THEN GREASE SLIDING OFF A CHILI DOG ON 25TH AND BROADWAY. SPOUTING OUT A NEW GENERATION OF WORKER BEES USED TO A HEFTY ALLOWANCE AND A DAY AT THE BEACH.„„, YEAH, I WAS ONE OF THEM,…..SO WAS HALF THIS FUCKING TOWN! GARY, INDIANA. HOME OF US STEEL AND JANITOR IN A DRUM. TWELVE BUCKS AN HOUR FOR PUSHIN’ A FUCKIN’ BROOM AND SLEEPING ON THE MIDNIGHT SHIFT.

(PUTS OUT SMOKE AND GETS UP AND GRABS A BEER AND WALKS TO APARTMENT WINDOW)

TOASTS OUT WINDOW: I SALUTE ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO BOUGHT THE PLAN OF THE GREAT INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION. TWO CARS IN EVERY GARAGE AND FINE CORINTHIAN LEATHER TO FIT THE FAT ASS OF THE SO CALLED WORKING MAN,… CHEERS!

JOHNNY: LIFE WAS GOOD BEFORE THIS PLACE SHIT THE BED.
(JOHNNY GRABS CHAIR AND SITS FACING AUDIENCE)

JOHNNY: PICTURE THIS,…YOU’RE GROWING UP IN A MIDDLE CLASS TOWN WITH HIGH HOPES OF DOIN’ AS WELL AS YOUR OLD MAN DID, OR WITH ANY LUCK A TAD BIT BETTER. THE PROMSE OF AMERICA IS PLASTERED ACROSS THE TUBE IN THE FORM OF A TIDE BOX OF CLEAN LAUNDERED HOPES AND A RALPH CRAMDEN LIFESTYLE. WORK HARD, PLAY HARD, LAUGH HARD AND MOST OF ALL RESPECT THE BLIND STRENGTH OF THE PEOPLE WHO BUILT THIS CITY…..SURE AINT’ WHAT IT USED TO BE. HALF THE FUCKIN’ TOWN MOVED OUT FIRST SITE OF A BLACK MAN! EVERY OTHER WORD ON THE STREET WAS NIGGER AND HUNKY AS TENSIONS HUNG IN THE AIR TIGTHER THEN THE KNOT OF AN EXCEDRIN BRAIN SQUEEZE. (SIPS BEER) YEAH, SOME BIG CHANGES WENT ON IN THIS CITY. THE 50’S AND 60’S SAW CAPONE RUNNIN’ THESE STREETS. THERE WAS MORE SPAGHETTI JOINTS DOWNTOWN CALUMET CITY THEN IN SICILY ITSELF! MY OLD MAN MADE A SMALL FORTUNE RUNNIN’ BOOZE FOR THE MAN DURING PROHIBITION. SAVED UP ENOUGH DOUGH TO OPEN HIS OWN JOINT AND A HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY. I CAN REMEMBER HANGIN’ OUT AT HIS CLUB LISTENING TO THE JAZZ CATS BLOW SOME MEAN HORN. (PAUSES AND SIPS BEER) THERE WERE SOME BAD MOTHERS. LIKE SHORTY WALKER AND CHARLES GATES RUNNIN’ THIS TOWN. THEN THE SHIT ALL DRIED UP AND SENT EM’ OFF TO CHICAGO. I WAS WRITIN’ FOR THE UNDERGROUND PRESS DOIN’ REVIEWS ON THE CATS COMIN’ TO BLOW DOWNTOWN AND SELLIN’ A LITTLE DOPE ON THE SIDE. JOE, THE OLD SOPRANO MAN INTRODUCED ME TO THE POWDER THAT DON’T HOLD A PREJUDICE TO THE COLOR OF YOUR SKIN. I’VE BEEN RIDIN’ THE LADY EVER SINCE. THAT SHIT HAD ME IN LOVE WITH ALL THE SUGAR AROUND ME, CHASIN’ EVERYTHING JOE DIDN’T GET FIRST, DAMN!

(JOHNNY WIPES RUNNY NOSE)

JOHNNY:
(GETS UP AND SCOOTS CHAIR AGAINST THE TABLE HARD) WHO GIVES A FUCK ANYWAY! NOBODY GIVES A DAMN ABOUT SOME FOOL GOIN’ OFF ON HOW TIMES USED TO BE SO GREAT IN THIS CITY! I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I’M WRITING ABOUT THIS SHIT ANYWAY. A BIG WASTE OF FUCKING TIME! I’VE BEEN SITTING AT THIS TYPEWRITER FOR THE LAST THREE DAYS CONTEMPLATING JUMPIN’ OUT THIS WINDOW FOR LACK OF NOTHING BETTER TO DO. BUT THEN AGAIN, IT WOULDN’T MAKE NO DIFFERENCE WITH HALF THE MURDERS ON THIS BLOCK ALONE. (LIGHTS SMOKE) RUDY THE DOOR MAN SURE WOULD BE PISSED HAVIN’ TO CLEAN UP SUCH A MESS! (LOOKS OUT WINDOW AND TOSSES MATCH OUT) I CANT EVEN SPIT ON THE SIDEWALK WITHOUT CATCHING SHIT FROM THAT OLD FOOL. (SPITS OUT WINDOW LAUGHING AS RUDY THE DOOR MANS YELLS UP TO HIS WINDOW, “HEY, WHO DID THAT?” … JOHNNY ANSWERS BACK: “FUCK OFF!” AGGRAVATED, JOHNNY WIPES BROW WITH SLEEVE. MAN, IT’S FUCKING HOT IN HERE, HOW CAN ANYONE THINK IN THIS GOD DAMN HEAT! (THROWS BEER AT COCKROACH ON WALL) GOT YOU, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!

(JOHNY WALKS OVER AND SITS AT KTICHEN TABLE)

JOHNNY: I GOTTA QUIT THIS SHIT MAN, (HOLDS UP BAG OF HEROIN AND SNIFFS LAST BIT OF DIME BAG) (MUMBELS) AT LEAST I USED TO GET A HARD ON DRINKING JOHNNY WALKER, NOW I CAN’T EVEN WORK A PISS BONER IN THE MORNING ON THIS SKANK. I GOT THE DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER AND A WOMAN WHO KNOWS IT. (POPS ZIT ON SHOULDER AND BEGINS TO NOD OUT, MUMBLING “TWO TIMIN’ HO!”

(KNOCK AT DOOR)
JOHNNY: (WAKES UP) WHO IS IT?
(NO ANWSER)
JOHNNY: (IRRITATED) I SAID, WHO IS IT?

TANYA: IT’S ME, TANYA, LET ME IN.

JOHNNY: (MUMBLES TO HIMSELF) SPEAK OF THE DEVIL,…IT’S THAT SNAKE VIPER BITCH COMIN’ TO COP MY DOPE. GO AWAY, GIRL!

TANYA: COME ON JOHNNY, LET ME IN YOU SPINELESS PRICK! (BANGING ON DOOR)

JOHNNY OPENS DOOR SLOWLY, (SARCASTIC SPEECH) YOU’RE TOO KIND, TANYA.

TANYA: OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, YOU GONNA’ MAKE ME STAND OUT HERE ALL DAY! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? (PUSHES THE DOOR OPEN AND JOHNNY AT THE SAME TIME)

JOHNNY: ME? WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU! AINT’ YOU GOT NO TRICKS TODAY.

TANYA: I’M TAKIN’ A BREAK.

JOHNNY: YEAH AND EVERY TIME YOU TAKE A BREAK, I GOTTA MAKE UP FOR IT. YOU BAD LUCK TANYA! GOT HOOKED IN A HEAD LOCK WITH FRANKY SLIM COPING THAT BAG LAST TIME! HE CUT ME GOOD, MAN. HERE, CHECK I OUT. (POINTS TO SCAR ON STOMACH)

TANYA: YOU STILL GOIN’ ON ABOUT THAT? (POINTS TO CUT) THAT DIDN’ T TAKE NOTHIN’ BUT A BAND AID TO HEAL! (LAUGHS AND PUSHES HIM OUT OF THE DOORWAY)

JOHNNY: THE MOTHER FUCKER TRIED TO BURY ME! BUT, I SHOWED HIM DEATH KNOCKS TWICE AT MY DOOR. (JUMPS ON THE COUCH) POPPED THAT SUCKER TWICE IN THE MOUTH SO’S HE COULDN’T BLOW HIS HORN FOR TWO WEEKS! (LAUGHS, SHADOW BOXING THE AIR )

TANYA: YEAH, WELL, IF YOU WOULDN’T HAVE STEPPED ON THAT SMACK LIKE YOU DID, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE GOT CUT FOOL!

JOHNNY: BULLSHIT! (POINTS AT TANYA) YOU TELL JAZZMAN, I SEE HIM AGAIN, HE BETTER HAVE NINE LIVES, CAUSE THIS CAT GONNA WHOOP HIS SCRAWNY ASS!

TANYA: PLEASE, YOU BEST BE COUNTIN’ HOW MANY LIVES YOU GOT LEFT BEFORE YOU GO THREATEN EVERYBODY! (GRABS HIS WORK FROM TYPEWRITER) I SEE YOU FINALLY BEEN WORKIN’! (READS SCRIPT) WHAT IS THIS, CHASIN’ ALL THE SUGAR JOE DIDN’T GET FIRST!

JOHNNY:
HEY, GIVE ME THAT! (SWIPES WORK FROM TANYA’S HANDS)

TANYA:(SHAKING FINGER AT JOHNNY) I BEST NOT CATCH YOU CHASIN’ NO SUGAR WHEN I’M AROUND, BABY!

JOHNNY: IT’S A FUCKING PLAY GIRL!

TANYA: YEAH, WELL I AINT PLAYIN’! I SWEAR YOU GONNA BE ONE SORRY WHITE BOY I CATCH YOU EVEN LOOKIN’ AT ANOTHER WOMAN!

JOHNNY: YEAH, YEAH…

TANYA: (HOLDS UP MANUSCRIPT) SO, WHEN THIS GONNA’ GET US OUTTA’ HERE, MR. GENIUS? YOU KEEP SAYIN’ THIS OUR TICKET OUT THIS HELL HOLE. (ROLLS EYES- THAT GOIN’ ON TWO YEARS NOW) (EYES COCKROACH ON TABLE AND SMACKS IT WITH THE MANUSCRIPT) AND WHEN YOU GONNA CLEAN UP THIS PLACE, ALL THESE DAMN ROACHES!

JOHNNY: HEY, GIMME THAT! (GRABS SCRIPT AND WIPES OFF COCKROACH GUTS)

TANYA: YOU CLEAN THIS PLACE UP AND MAYBE WE CAN FIND THE BED! GIVE YOU SOMETHIN’ REAL TO WORK ON! (SHAKES HER ASS)

JOHNNY: I AM WORKIN’, GIRL. ( WALKS OVER TO TYPWERITER AND SMACKS IT) WORKIN’ MY ASS OFF! (GRABS CROTCH) BUT, I DON’T REMEMBER LAST TIME THIS MUTHA WORKED!..

TANYA: YEAH, AND YOU AINT’ HAD MUCH OF AN ASS TO BEGIN WITH! SO, WHEN YOU GONNA’ TAKE ME OUT TO PARTY? I’M BORED.

JOHNNY: TAKE YOU OUT? WITH WHAT, MY GOOD LOOKS?

TANYA: I KNOW YOU GOT MONEY! YOU JUST FIXED BY THE LOOKS OF THAT NEEDLE. YOU SAVE ME SOME?

JOHNNY: I KNEW YOU WAS COMIN’ AROUND HERE FOR A REASON. SHIT, I’M ALL OUT GIRL. (SEES COCKAROCH RUN ACROSS THE FLOOR AND TALKS TO HIMSELF) WHERE YOU THINK YOU’RE GOIN’? (CRUSHES ROACH UNDER FOOT AND PICKS IT UP STARING AT IT INTENSELY)

TANYA: WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ WITH THAT COCKROACH?

JOHNNY: I CUT MY HEROIN WITH THEIR GUTS! I FIGURE ANYTHING THAT CAN REPRODUCE AND ADAPT TO THE WORLD AS FAST AS THESE LITTLE BASTARDS, WILL RENDER MY SOUL IMORTAL.

TANYA: YOU SHOOTIN’ UP COCKROACH GUTS? ….NOW, I KNOW YOU’RE FUCKING CRAZY!

JOHNNY: YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOME TIME, TAKE YOU WAY OUT!

TANYA: THEY GONNA’ TAKE YOU WAY “OUT” TO THAT CLINIC WITH ALL THE NUT JOBS! THOSE BUGS GIVE ME THE CREEPS. LITTLE BEADY EYES! AND YOUR SILLY ASS SHOOTIN’ EM’ UP LIKE SOME KINDA COCKROACH COWBOY.

JOHNNY: YOU WAIT AND SEE WHEN I’M DANCIN’ ON YOUR GRAVE.

TANYA: THE ONLY THING YOU GONNA’ BE DANCIN’ WITH IS A CAN OF RAID! COME ON BUGMAN, WHOSE HOLDIN’ THESE DAYS? I GOT TO FIX MAN.

JOHNNY: I DON’T KNOW, GIRL. I SCORED MY LAST BAG FROM CHARLES. MANNITOL CUTTIN’ PRICK! I HAD TO TAKE A CRAP JUST LOOKIN’ AT IT!

TANYA: YOU HOLDIN’ OUT ON ME?!

JOHNNY: NO GIRL, I TOLD YOU I DON’T HAVE ANY! (SARCASTIC VOICE) HOW COME YOU DIDN’T SCORE WITH BOBBY T?

TANYA: DON’T YOU START WITH THAT!

JOHNNY: WHAT? I KNOW YOU GOT’S THE HOTS FOR BOBBY.

TANYA: I’LL SLAP YOU I SWEAR! (MAKES A BACK HAND GESTURE)

JOHNNY: YEAH, WELL THEN WHY YOU KEEP TALKIN’ LIKE YOU GONNA GO BACK TO WORK FOR HIM?

TANYA: I AINT’ GOIN’ BACK TO WORK FOR THAT FOOL! NOT AFTER THE LAST TIME!

JOHNNY: SHIT GIRL, I THINK YOU LIKE BEING BEAT UP BY THAT FOOL!

TANYA: YEAH, AND I DON’T SEE YOU DOIN’ NOTHIN’ ABOUT IT!

JOHNNY: THAT’S CAUSE HE THE ONLY ONE GOT ANY GOOD JUNK IN THIS TOWN! I TELL YOU TANYA, BOBBY BETTER WATCH OUT, I DON’T LIKE IT WHEN A MAN TRIES TO STEAL MY GIRL!

TANYA: (IRRITATED) HE AIN’T STEALIN’ NOTHIN”! NOW, GIVE ME SOME MONEY’S SO I CAN GET HIGH!

JOHNNY: DAMN, AINT WE SENSITIVE TODAY! HERE, (HANDS HER A TWENTY) GO COP US A DIME BAG AND A HALF PINT OF BACARDI AND BRING ME BACK THE CHANGE.

TANYA: (HOLDS UP TWENTY) THIS AINT NUTHIN’ BUT CHUMP CHANGE! I GET MORE FOR A BLOWJOB ON 5TH, BABY!

JOHNNY: HOW ABOUT A BLOW JOB ON EIGHTH? (GRABS HIS CROTCH)

TANYA: I THOUGHT YOU COULDN’T GET IT HARD THESE DAYS.

JOHNNY: I CHANGED MY MIND.

TANYA: YOU HAD A CHANCE FOOL. I GOTS’ TO GET BACK TO WORK. I’LL BE BACK IN A HALF HOUR, SO DON’T YOU BE TAKIN’ YOUR COCKROACH BUTT NOWHERE.

JOHNNY: (SARCASTIC) AT LEAST I AINT GOT NO BUBBLE BUTT LIKE YOURS!

TANYA: WHO YOU CALLIN’ BUBBLE BUTT? I’LL SLAP YOU UPSIDE YOUR HEAD! (SWINGS AND HITS HIM ON THE HEAD)

JOHNNY: QUIT PLAYIN’ TANYA, I GOT WORK TO DO. (PUSHES HER AWAY) AND DON’T YOU BE KICKIN’ DOWN TO BOBBY T. EITHER! I KNOW HOW HE LIKE TO HIT THE DOPE WITH YOU!

TANYA: (QUESTIONING TONE OF VOICE) SO, NOW YOU WANT ME TO SCORE FROM BOBBY T.? I THOUGHT YOU WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIM MAKIN’ MOVES ON ME…..(FRUSTRATED) I GIVE UP, BABY! (WALKS OFF STAGE)

JOHNNY:(YELLS OUT DOOR) AND YOU TELL HIM YOU AINT’ WORKIN’ FOR HIM AGAIN AFTER THE WAY HE HIT YOU LAST TIME, YOU GOT IT!

TANYA: YEAH, YEAH…

JOHNNY: (SHUTS DOOR AND TURNS TO TYPEWRITER, MUMBLING) THAT GIRLS THE REASON I DON’T GET ANYTHING DONE!

(SITS AT TYPEWRITER AND LIGHTS UP A MOKE, DRINKING A BEER, HE READS FROM HIS JOURNAL THAT HE IS USING TO BUILD HIS SCRIPT FROM. )

JOHNNY: BEING A PRODUCT OF THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION HAS GIVEN ME TREMENDOUS INCITES INTO THE WORKING MANS MIND, OR WHAT’S LEFT OF IT ANYWAY. HANGIN’ ON THE CORNER OF LIFE, I TAUGHT MYSELF HOW TO PLAY THE PART OF A BLIND MAN TO PREJUDICE AND THE DESPERATLEY POOR. BEGGIN’ A PAYCHECK FROM THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS, I TOOK UP WITH MADAM WONG, WHO PAYS ME IN DREAMS OF A FUTURE BEYOND THIS FUCKING GHETTO. SHE’S A NEW BREED OF HUSTLER. WHERE AN EIGHT BALL DON’T GET SUNK IN THE CORNER POCKET, BUT IN THE VEINS OF A BREED OF MACHINERY FUELED BY THE POISON OF A MINDSET THAT WASHES UP ON THE SHORES OF LAKE MICHIGAN LIKE THE AYLEWIVES DOIN’ THE POLLUTION SUN DANCE IN THE SUMMER OF 69! SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST BABY! (SMASHES HAND ON TABLE KILLING ANOTHER ROACH, PICKS IT UP CONTINUING CONVERSATION) GALAPOGOS INDIANA, DARWIN’S LOST THEORY OF EVOLUTION,. THE CHAIN GOT FUCKED UP ALONG THE WAY CHARLES AND I GOT STUCK IN IT. CHASIN’ THE SAME BREED OF WOMEN AND PAYIN’ RENT ON THE LOWER END OF THE FOOD CHAIN. (PUTS COCKROACH IN A JAR WITH OTHERS HE HID BEHIND THE COUNTER) NOW,… THESE LOVELY LITTLE CREATURES, (HOLDS UP BOTTLE OF DEAD ROACHES) HOLD THE KEY TO LIFE. SHELLS IMPENETRABLE TO RADIATION AND NO THICKER THEN THE SKIN ON MY SKULL. GOD LOVE EM”! THEY’LL ALL BE WHAT’S LEFT ONE OF THESE DAYS….(GRABS MORTAR AND PESTLE AND EMPTIES COCKROACHES INTO BOWL, CRUSHING THEM AS HE MUMBLES TO HIMSELF) THIS NEXT BATCH GONNA’ PACK A DOOZIE! (DIPS FINGER INTO BOWL, LICKS THEM AND BEGINS TO SING, JUNKIE MAN SONG)

END OF SCENE ONE – FOR UPDATES PLEASE LIKE AND FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK: WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/THEREGOESTHEHOOD

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